ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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