I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
