you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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