the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
