.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
