my room smells like sperm. sweet.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
