So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
