Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
