Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
