walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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