My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
