thus making me awesome and them whores
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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