Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
