just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
