I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
