Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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