Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
