Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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