The best revenge is premature balding
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
