she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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