Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
