yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
