i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
