Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We're not piercing ourselves today.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize