If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I had to cum in my sink.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
