North Korea, Best Korea!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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