haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I believe in your delicious
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
