She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
