I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
