A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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