This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
