Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
is it fun? or sober?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
