One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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