The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
