when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
