She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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