he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
