fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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