I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize