There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
