Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
