We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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