happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
