I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
