What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize