just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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