idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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