do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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