totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
