I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize