yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
