Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
