At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
