The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
