We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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