he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
