Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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