Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My room smells like vodka and shame
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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