You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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