problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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