I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
