I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
