how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
